My first time...again...

Okay, you marys! The only reason I got onto livejournal is to rate tits. That's it. I'm all about the boobies, and if their were vagina pics, I'd be all about those too. You want to know more about me? Fine. I'm a nerd, and I've been into lifting weights for the last eleven years. Yes, I've got muscles. I'm stronger than you are. If the world ended tomorrow and the only weapons around were sticks and stones (much as einstein predicted), I'd beat your sorry ass and then take your food. And before you begin to rattle your pea-sized lump of gray matter as to why I'm into physical fitness as well as Dungeons & Dragons, let's just say in my youth I was under the delusion that perhaps a girl might want a guy who looked healthy and be a nice guy. Yeah, keeping laughing assholes! I'm not the one who gets winded going up a flight of stairs because of a twinkie addiction. Enjoy your impending quadruple bypass surgery and recovery, and the subsequent poverty that'll put you in with today's medical costs. If the government took half of you lard asses and chained you to exercise bikes hooked up to generators, we wouldn't have to import oil any more! As for the rest of you, keep up the good work with that whole anorexia thing. Leaves more food for me. And I do so much love my jerky.

As you might suspect, that part about the anorexia was a shot aimed at women. If you had any kind of brain power, you'd realize slavery to public perception leads to misery and death. Then again, if that's what it takes you keep you from becoming a fatty, be my guest. I just don't give a rat's ass anymore. Can't you chicks find a happy medium?

Right now, there is an angsty goth-chick out there who thinks I'm cute. I'm not. I'm an asshole. Your boyfriend dumped you and you're sitting there reading livejournal because you don't want to become bored, because if you do, it'll make you think about your perfect teenage high school romance and how awful life can be. Grow a pair of balls and have some dignity. Stop reading this shit, read a book. My favorite is War Of The Worlds. If you root for the martians, you might just feel better about yourself. Of course they all died at the end, but the point is they caused a lot of death and destruction for its own sake. Sort of like how relationships are. Feel free to write a shitty poem about it, gothy. I'm outta here.